


Should I break up?

by LovesCO4Ever



Category: Glee
Genre: Diary, F/F, Faberry, First Love, Heartbreak, Kurt Hummel - Freeform, Mercedes Jones - Freeform, Quinn Fabray - Freeform, Sam Evans - Freeform, Tina Cohen-Chang - Freeform, rachel berry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-17 23:14:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9350504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovesCO4Ever/pseuds/LovesCO4Ever
Summary: Rachel is talking to her diary about her relationshipwith Quinn.





	1. Should I break up?

**Author's Note:**

> At first I have to say that I´m from Germany. So I´m really sorry if there any mistakes with the grammer or spelling. I hope you like it anyway.

Dear Diary,  
you already know about my girlfriend. Quinn. Now we´re already 11 months together. And our one year anniversary is in three weeks. At this day I want to do something really special with her at this day because I´m totally in love with her. But when I´m asking her what she wants to do she´s just saying “I don´t know”. Then I asked “Maybe see a movie in the cinema”.  
Her answer: “Whatever”.

It feels like she´s not really loving me. And I´m thinking about breaking up…  
But I don´t want to. Because I love her. Really. Maybe it helps to write just the whole story down…

Well it started in February of last year. I were at Mercedes´ house. Because Tina, Mercedes and me was working on a shool project. It was Wednesday the 10th of February. And we had to present our project at the next day. Thursday the 11th. It was late in the evening almost 6 pm. Since one or two hours we just had fun and were laughing.  
Then I had the idea to check my phone. Maybe there were any calls or messages. And actually there was one message from Quinn.  
“I have to talk to you… please don´t be angry or disappointed”.  
I was worried. It sounded serious. So I asked her what´s wrong.  
Two minutes later the answer: “In the last few months we spend a lot time together. And I think that I´m falling in love with you. Please don´t be angry at me. I´m scared that you´re ending our friendship now.”  
I was getting nervous. I was wishing for this to happen for so long. And I couldn´t believe it.  
So I asked: “Are you playing ´Truth or Dare´?”  
Quinn: “No. It´s true. Please believe me.”  
Me: “It sounds pretty much like Truth or Dare for me.”  
Quinn: “That´s not true. I love you.”  
This sentence drove me crazy. I wanted to text back that I love her too. But I didn´t knew if she was honest.  
Me: “I can´t know if it´s true because we´re just chatting on WhatsApp.”  
Quinn: “I can proof it if you want to.”  
Me: “Okay.”  
Quinn: “Would you let me kiss you?”  
Me: “You are not here.”  
Quinn: “But would you let me kiss you?”  
Me: “Maybe.”  
Quinn: “Yes or no?”  
Me: “I don´t know...”  
Quinn: “I love you.”  
Me: “Like I said. I can´t know.”  
Quinn: “Can we talk on the phone?”  
Me: “Sure. I call you when I´m home.”  
At home I called her and we met next day at school to talk about it.  
She told me that she was really in love with me. And I told her that I love her too.

Since that day we´re a couple.  
But her family is really religious. So we kept our relationship as a secret. Also we´re really shy. And you might laugh but we never kissed. We´re 11 months together but we never kissed.  
Also Quinn had a few boyfriends so that no one could even think about she could bi. There was Puck. And Finn. And a few other guys I didn´t know the name of. It always made me jealous. One day we had a fight about it. But wasn´t it understandable that it made me jealous?  
Now since a few months I have the feeling that she doesn´t love me. Maybe she´s loving me as her best friend or even some friend. But not as her girlfriend.  
I told her one month ago. That I think she doesn´t love me the way I do love her.  
Than we broke up for a few weeks. But now we´re back together and I´m scared to lose her.  
I love her. And I want to be with her. I´m happy to be in a relationship with this beautiful, smart, cute, cool, hot girl. But I´m not really happy. It makes me sad that she doesn´t answer if I text her a “I love you”.  
It hurts.  
But I love her.

Should I break up?

 

-Rachel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I finished my first english story and I hope that some of you liked it.  
> I would be happy if you could tell me in the comments what you think Rachel should do. Should she break up with Quinn or talk to her or even something totally different.


	2. Weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 2nd Chapter. Thank´s for the comments and the Kudos. I hope you like this chapter too.

Tuesday 17th of January 2017

Dear Diary,  
This weekend I was at my best friends House. My best friend, Kurt, celebrated his 18th Birthday. We made a little party. Just he, me and a friend of him I haven´t met before. Sam.  
We played a few games and afterwards Sam and I slept at Kurt´s.  
In these two days I had so much fun! In the evening maybe around 9 pm I texted Quinn a message with a “I love you”.  
I checked really often for an answer And finally. One hour later there was an answer. “Too”. Just one word but it made me happy.

One or two hours later I texted a new message. I reminded Quinn of the song we heard really often together. “I believe in a thing called love”. And I sent her a line. “I wanna kiss you every minute every hour every day”. And then a “But I mean really.” Because this really was the one thing I thought about all the time.  
She didn´t answered.

Again a few hours later. Maybe 3 am. Kurt, Sam and I got bored.  
Sam started to talk really stupid. But also funny. Most of the time he asked: “Hi. Do you came here often?” And he asked it A LOT.  
And I´m still laughing…  
One time he asked me: “What do you do in your free-time? Besides being good-looking.” All of us laughed because it was a joke. And he was talking this bullshit the whole night.  
But this was the moment when I realized that this was the first time I get a compliment. This guy I just knew for one day had made me more compliments than my own girlfriend. And he just made one. And it was just a joke.

In the next morning Quinn had answered my text.  
She asked if I´m drunk.  
I said no.  
Then I asked again about our one year anniversary.  
“Would you like to see a movie in the cinema or to go ice skating.”  
I asked that on Sunday morning. She answered Tuesday evening. But she was really active on WhatsApp the whole time. She was really often online and texted in Group-Chats.  
I´ll be honest: I´m really pissed. Because why does it take her 44 hours to don´t even think about it and then just to text a short “Don´t know”?

I have to go to bed soon. But one last thing:  
I just saw an episode of the 9th Season of “The Big Bang Theory”. This episode was about Sheldon and Amy. They broke up and got back together in this episode. I think it was the 10th episode…  
I saw the kiss after they said “I love you” and I began to cry. Because that was the moment when I realized that Sheldon Cooper from “The Big Bang Theory” has a better and more real relationship than myself. And everyone who just saw a few episodes of “The Big Bang Theory” knows that this means A LOT!

I think I have to text Kurt. I need my best friend now…

-Rachel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think should Rachel do?


End file.
